Our South African reporter Guy Mulvaney goes to town this week.

The honeymoon period for Jacob Zuma is over –this is no reference to his recent marriage to his fifth wife Thobeka Stacey Mabhija, but rather a reference to the status of the populist president’s tenure after on year of office. Mind you with Jacob’s insatiable appetite for ‘hotties’ [South African slang for gorgeous women] than can easily be remedied.

It seems like Jacob Zuma and several of his ministers were subjected to ‘Extreme abuse ’ at a recent meeting at Siyathemba Stadium in Balfour, Mmpumulanga where residents are fed up with the lack of service delivery from the local Mpumulanga government. Apparently repeated attempts were made to calm the crowd-to no avail-in fact it got so bad that Jacob contemplated walking out. Of course more promises were pledged again [Zuma addressed the angry residents here after his inauguration] for a new clinic, water facilities and street lights.

You lads deserve the vuvuzela band! 

Grow up Jacob-ANC has failed hopelessly on service delivery. Apparently Zuma instructed the residents to put their placards down. So much so for democracy! Good on you residents for being vociferous. Now stop voting along racial lines and exercise your unhappiness by ousting the incompetent MEC’s.

Americans will be reeling after Clint Eastwoods box office hit. Excellent all round Rugby Union news. Two South African teams, the Bulls and the Stormers will make history when they meet this at the Orlando Stadium this weekend when the "dream final" of this year's Vodacom Super 14 competition takes place. [Super 14 is an Antipodean competition between Australian, Kiwi and South African teams. Last weekend saw mass support from the black residents of o despite

South African rugby’s reputation of being a white elitist sport! Clearly not the case! Two big jeers to Zapiro for your Mohammed cartoon depicting the prophet reclining in a psychiatrist's chair bemoaning his followers' lack of humour and to Julius Malema for your new song ‘Kiss the Boer, Kiss the Farmer.’ Singing is out of tune apparently out of tune Julius[Don’t nationalize Zapiros one Julius!]

The ANC Youth League president is appearing increasingly desperate as he fades from the headlines and meets increasing resistance within his organisation allegedly due to his intolerant attitude to other race groups.

Malema’s previous singing of ‘Kill the Boer, Kill the Farmer’ allegedly has incited criminal elements to kill white farmer.

South Africa doesn’t have the democratic maturity to deal with contentious racial and religious issues, unlike the Swedes. Satire turns into murder in Africa.

To the master chokers, the Protea Cricket team. Despite their vast talent and ICB number world ranking failed dismally to feature in the 2010 Twenty20 World Cup. The game characterized by hegemonic control.  Sulking, threatening, demanding and controlling players manipulating selections, batting orders and field placing. Kallis insisting he wont play if Boucher is dropped etc. AB won’t take the gloves. Grow up boys the game is bigger than the individual.  Bring in youngsters, import an English coach and two English batsmen from Somerset and whilst you are at it apparently there is a great Icelandic batsman with South African ancestry in Reykjavik. Oh yes and the star batsman must have a protea tattooed on his arm [KP –the South African batsman now playing for England has declared his undying love for the Empire by tatooeing the three British Lions on his arm. Lions feature in the Royal Coat of Arms and 3 lions are the emblem of the English cricket team. A true patriot I tell you!

Here’s a great credit crunch joke about the banks in Icelend and those beloved spam emails that allegedly come from the Nigerian scamsters: An elderly lady receives an e-mail from the son of a deceased (but wealthy) African general, asking whether he could transfer millions of pounds into her bank account in return for a 20% cut. All the son needs is the sort code and account number. Not realising she is the victim of a Nigerian 419 fraud, she e-mails back the details. A couple of minutes later she receives an e-mail back from the general's son: 'Icesave?!' What is this, some sort of scam?"

Thumbs down to the small number of white supremacists in London who attempted conjure up a mass demonstration against ‘white genocide’ outside SA House in order to increase international awareness.The biggest victims are poverty stricken black woman and children in rural areas who have little or no access to the justice system. Grow up!

FIFA 2010 World Cup News: Whilst the overwhelming majority of South African families are struggling to put food on their tables, let alone purchase tickets to this one-in-a-lifetime experience, the Argentian coach Diva Diego Maradona has found the bog standard, sub- standard and has demanded the installation of two state –of- the art bidet toilets to the value of about $2500 to be installed in his executive suite. A big blast to you mate!  With that attitude in this economic recession you don’t even deserve to hear the sound of our local trumpet!